A gift of infertility

So last night in my moms group we went over a section of "What not to say" I think that it was so informative for people to know what not to say to people, who have survived cancer, had a miscarriage, are trying to get pregnant, have lost a loved one, and someone going through or went through infertility.

There was so many great things we learned from each one.
I got to write a few about what not to say to someone who is dealing with infertility.
This one was hard to write cause a lot of these women are my friends and I didn't want to come across rude or put them down if they had ever told me any of them. It was really hard for me to back down memory lane and remember all the sayings that irked me really a lot.
Thinking of these things and sharing them made me feel so vulnerable, but I was glad I did because I think these women might be a little more careful about what they say to someone going through this.
 A few of my top sayings that irked me like no others are ....

"You don't want to be pregnant" I have heard this numerous times and I know you are just trying to make me feel better like ,this chocolate cake is gross to someone dieting, I am like yes I do!! Dont tell me what I want and don't want! Just saying
"Just relax" This one is one that really frustrates me because you know what most people that are trying to get pregnant are not stressed about it. You are excited about the possibility of making a baby. Yes after a while it can be stressful because it becomes a chore but its not something you are getting sick over, sad maybe but not sick.
"You're thinking about too much" Well yeah duh, its the focus of my life right now, I'm sure when you tried to get pregnant and did 3 times you thought about it a lot. Because its exciting and special.
"I was afraid to tell you I was pregnant cause I thought you would be mad" Honey I won't ever be mad at anyone for getting pregnant, that's like saying you don't deserve a blessing in your life, I am excited about any possible new life. Yes it will make me sad about myself later, But that you will never see!
" I am so fertile all my husband has to do is look at me and I'm pregnant"  REALLY? Now why would you say that to someone that you know can't get pregnant? Unless you wanted to hurt them.I mean really, all that made me want to do is punch you in the face.(and i'm not a violent person)

Anyways those a few of my top ones that I have heard and don't truly love if you know what I mean?

It has been 7 1/2 years since my husband and I have started trying to get pregnant and every month is still a disappointment. Even after getting blessed with adopting my son 3 1/2 years ago, i still have a longing to feel a life grow inside of me. I can't tell you why, because honestly I thought that would go away once I had my baby. And I Love my son with my whole heart and I would never change that for the whole world, I would not go back and change things and the hurt of infertility if it meant not having him. But I am human and I am selfish and for some reason, even ,though I have asked, God has not taken away my desire to carry a child.
And I so want to see my son be a big brother, he would be such a great big brother! It would be so awesome to have the best of both world's #1 to truly experience what its like to love and care for someone you didn't carry! "Adoption, is such a beautiful thing and how you bond with your child so naturally is amazing.  And Have him look like us and act like us totally God!
 and #2 to have that connection with a child from within you. and to experience the beauty in that. i pray someday I am able to experience the #2
This is going to sound weird but the fact that I went through all that I did to get a child and the way Tyler's adoption happened was such a beautiful gift from God. Perfect gift, even though I struggled with my faith so many times in the 4 years of trying before Tyler, it actually strengthened my faith. I am definitely not the same person now that I was then. God did have perfect timing even though I didn't think so at the time, in my faith at that time I wasn't ready for such a big gift because I probably wouldn't have thought of it that way. You know you try you get pregnant and yay you go on with your life and yes you think of it as a blessing, a gift from God but having to wait and go through all the pain and lose friends because you pushed them away because they didn't understand.. or ... you didn't think they would understand because well you thought everything always was perfect for them. Going through all that made me realize what a GIFT I was getting. because God finally said YES!
I know all of you out there that getting pregnant comes easy to, I know you all think of your child as a gift Im not saying you don;t, I am just saying that I think the way I view my gift is different then if I had gotten it right away.
I am truly blessed that God gave me my son as my gift and I can't wait to see how my next child shows up!
God is mysterious like that!